How to Write Your Vows

Writing your own vows is one of the most personal things you'll do in your entire wedding planning process, and also one of the most intimidating blank pages you'll ever face. A simple structure helps.

Start with a memory: a specific moment that captures why you fell for this person. Specificity beats grand statements every time: 'the way you make terrible puns at 2am' says more than 'you make me laugh.'

Then move to a promise: not just 'I promise to love you forever' but something concrete, how you'll show up for them in hard seasons, what you're committing to build together.

Add a moment of honesty. Marriage isn't just the highlight reel, and acknowledging that you're choosing each other through the ordinary and difficult days too makes vows feel real rather than performative.

Close with your future: a small, specific image of the life you're building together.

Practical tips: aim for 60-90 seconds when read aloud (roughly 300-450 words), write it as you'd actually speak, read it out loud several times before the day, and keep a printed copy in your officiant's hands as backup in case nerves wipe your memory.